This is the rough cut of our final project but we havent finished it yet and the dialogue bit is not very professional so this week we are going to go out and film the dialogue scenes again and add more running footage.
0:01 - When you reshoot, start with a serious of static (not moving) shots to set the scene. Try and use a range of distances (start with an ELS of Durham City before moving closer to the geography of the chase). Try to avoid camera movement
0:02 - the "typing-on" credit seems to work well. However, don't forget that as well as actor credits, you need production credits (for example, editor, camera-operator, producer, director etc.)
0:16 - the editing needs to be tighter; although you can get away with the long-ish shot of the steps, the rest of the chase needs to be a lot faster with (as you and Louise have both identified) far more of a range of angles
0:20 - the framing of this shot is quite good
0:29 - ...as is this shot. Make sure you capture these again, when you re-shoot. As mentioned, you need to edit in some CU/ action shots
0:34 - editing needs to be tighter - cut as soon as the actors are out of frame. This shot needs to be angled slightly lower (so that the actors legs aren't cut off)
0:47 - don't fade the music completely out, just take it down so that the dialogue is audible. Maybe we could edit the music to find an instrumental part?
1:00 - obviously, as we've discussed, it all falls apart here with continuity. This whole section needs to be re-shot: you need to establish the story as well as use a range of angles to demonstrate variety and understanding of how to create the narrative (and generic) qualities of the piece. More CU/ range of angles would help
I'm not sure about the tone of the piece, since you start off with slightly humerous overtones (with Walk the Line) and then go very dark with the dialogue. Not sure the song is the best one to use. I would probably use something more dramatic.
You might want to start off with something more dramatic - Amir might be able to help you create some sort of explosion - in order to place the later dialogue in some sort of context.
It would be quite cool if you could have Kelly appearing from thin air (you would need to hold the shot and your positions in order to achieve this).
I also think you need to have some sort of scene between Ellie and Kelly setting up the rest of the narrative. For example:
"Ellie: Wait a minute... why did you do that? Why did you help me?
Kelly: You have to live.
Ellie: Who are you?
Kelly: You don't need to know.
Ellie: But...
Kelly: Listen. You are a killer - a murderer. But if you die now, millions will pay the price. My job was to save you. But others will come. This is just the beginning."
Title.
This again would need to be shot from a variety of angles.
At the moment, if you submitted this, it would be at the lower end of L2 (basically, what carries it is the range of shots, but the weak editing, lack of titles and poor sound would scupper it). The idea and elements of the chase are themselves quite good and with some tweaking could do a lot better.
0:00 - You will need to include studio and
ReplyDeletedistributor idents at the start. Your first
titles should reflect this (so, for example,
"Warner Bros presents" and then "A so-and-so
film". I would start this with your music.
0:01 - When you reshoot, start with a serious of static (not moving) shots to set the scene. Try and use a range of distances (start with an ELS of Durham City before moving closer to the geography of the chase). Try to avoid camera movement
0:02 - the "typing-on" credit seems to work well. However, don't forget that as well as actor credits, you need production credits (for example, editor, camera-operator, producer, director etc.)
0:16 - the editing needs to be tighter; although you can get away with the long-ish shot of the steps, the rest of the chase needs to be a lot faster with (as you and Louise have both identified) far more of a range of angles
0:20 - the framing of this shot is quite good
0:29 - ...as is this shot. Make sure you capture these again, when you re-shoot. As mentioned, you need to edit in some CU/ action shots
0:34 - editing needs to be tighter - cut as soon as the actors are out of frame. This shot needs to be angled slightly lower (so that the actors legs aren't cut off)
0:47 - don't fade the music completely out, just take it down so that the dialogue is audible. Maybe we could edit the music to find an instrumental part?
1:00 - obviously, as we've discussed, it all falls apart here with continuity. This whole section needs to be re-shot: you need to establish the story as well as use a range of angles to demonstrate variety and understanding of how to create the narrative (and generic) qualities of the piece. More CU/ range of angles would help
I'm not sure about the tone of the piece, since you start off with slightly humerous overtones (with Walk the Line) and then go very dark with the dialogue. Not sure the song is the best one to use. I would probably use something more dramatic.
You might want to start off with something more dramatic - Amir might be able to help you create some sort of explosion - in order to place the later dialogue in some sort of context.
It would be quite cool if you could have Kelly appearing from thin air (you would need to hold the shot and your positions in order to achieve this).
I also think you need to have some sort of scene between Ellie and Kelly setting up the rest of the narrative. For example:
"Ellie: Wait a minute... why did you do that? Why did you help me?
Kelly: You have to live.
Ellie: Who are you?
Kelly: You don't need to know.
Ellie: But...
Kelly: Listen. You are a killer - a murderer. But if you die now, millions will pay the price. My job was to save you. But others will come. This is just the beginning."
Title.
This again would need to be shot from a variety of angles.
At the moment, if you submitted this, it would be at the lower end of L2 (basically, what carries it is the range of shots, but the weak editing, lack of titles and poor sound would scupper it). The idea and elements of the chase are themselves quite good and with some tweaking could do a lot better.